Nathan's Loss
by Honor Reid
Summary: Ezra knew from experience only trouble called this late. (ATF Verse)


**A/N:** ATF Verse. Many, many thanks to my awesome beta for this story **daniomalley22**. This was written for the LJ comm **hc_bingo** prompt: Loss of home.

**DISCLAIMER:** 'I don't own these characters, nor am I making any money from them. I merely borrow them from time to time.

I loved this show and the amazing characters in it, so I couldn't help writing a little something. Enjoy!

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><p>Nathan woke up abruptly, gasping and choking. He sat straight up and desperately tried to take in a deep breath, but all he could do was wheeze and cough as the air he breathed in irritated his lungs even further. He had fallen asleep in front of the television with the light from the kitchen providing some illumination, and now the medic was greeted with a pitch black living room. His sleep filled brain finally caught up with the situation and he realized why he couldn't breathe.<p>

The room was filled with smoke.

Quickly rolling off the couch Nathan felt adrenalin shoot through him which cleared out the last of the fogginess. His brain finally kicked into gear and he remembered that smoke rises. Dropping to his hands and knees he grabbed the collar of his white undershirt and pulled it over his nose trying to filter out some of the noxious fumes. Crawling across the floor to the front door, he was reaching for the handle when the window to his right exploded inwards. Jerking back he took in a gasp of air in surprise and fell on his backside.

The blast of hot air felt as though it was burning his lungs Nathan tried to keep from breathing in the poisonous air by taking only shallow breaths, but his lungs would not cooperate; they continued to try to expel the fumes forcing the medic to cough which in turn required him to suck in more toxic air. Nathan couldn't help but watch as the flames began to consume the front door before spreading along the front wall in its entirety. Nathan scooted backwards into the hall in disbelief as the fire continued to advance ever forward and started to engulf the living room.

Turning away, Nathan crawled forward and reached the doorway to the guest bedroom; looking in he saw to his dismay that the window had an orange glow to it, showing that the fire had already spread to the side of the house. Moving quickly, Nathan headed towards his bedroom which was furthest from the front and hopefully not on fire yet. Reaching the closed door, Nathan placed his hand on it feeling for warmth. Finding it still cool to the touch he grasped the handle and opened the door.

Practically falling into the room, Nathan was unable to stop another coughing jag. Lying on the floor, he started to panic as his lungs felt like they were seizing up. Desperately trying to drag oxygen into his lungs as the smoke grew thicker in the room, Nathan drug himself across the carpet towards the window over the bed. Grasping the comforter, he felt a wave of fatigue sweep over him. Weakly pulling himself up onto the bed, Nathan noticed his vision waver and start to darken along the edges. The EMT in him knew logically that he was losing consciousness due to lack of oxygen; that knowledge sent a tendril of fear through him and gave him a burst of energy he needed to grasp the window sill.

Reaching up, Nathan unlocked the window before he attempted to push it open. Pushing with what strength was left in him Nathan felt the window give a fraction of an inch before stopping. It was then that the medic remembered that this window would stick from time to time. Swearing under his breath, he glanced over his shoulder, through the smoke he saw the fire had reached midway through the hallway. Gripping the window, Nathan shoved harder but to no avail. "Please!" he prayed silently his arms straining, his vision closing into pinpoints, and his lungs screaming for air.

The window gave suddenly.

Popping out the screen, Nathan all but launched himself out of the burning house. Landing hard on the wet grass of his backyard, Nathan laid there gasping and gagging as his body tried to expel the smoke. He curled his fingers; grasping the tufts of grass as proof he was out and alive. His lungs greedily breathed in the unpolluted air. Hearing another window shatter brought him back to reality although out, he was still in danger and needed to get away from the house. Pushing himself up and staggering forward, his vision swaying in and out of focus, Nathan grasped the back fence and hauled himself up and over.

Falling shoulder first into the hard ground of the alleyway that ran behind his house Nathan let out a pained grunt. Rolling up on his hands and knees as another coughing fit gripped him, this time he could not stop and ended up tripping his gag reflex. It felt like his stomach was trying to empty itself of everything he had ever eaten. Once he managed to stop Nathan wiped his mouth with the back of his hand and sat on the broken asphalt with his head in his hands. Off in the distance he heard the welcome sound of fire trucks, which gave him the strength to get on his feet.

**-M7-**

Ezra was having his favorite dream again, the one where he was a gambler in the old west, and a pretty good one if the chips in front of him were any indication. The whole team was there all decked out in cowboy garb of the period. They were drinking and laughing, as only old and trusted friends could. The ringing of a telephone was a discordant irritation that had no place in this dreamscape. It was that sound that brought him out of the dusty saloon and into his present day bedroom. Glancing at the clock as he reached for his bedside telephone, Ezra saw it was only 1:00 in the morning. A feeling of trepidation came over him as he knew from experience only trouble called this late.

Clearing his throat, Ezra's voice was still rough with sleep when he croaked out, "Hello?"

"Is this Ezra?" said a frail sounding voice on the other end.

Sitting up and placing his feet on the floor Ezra tried to shake the cobwebs from his brain, the voice sounded familiar but he couldn't place it. "Yes."

The voice continued, "Its Esther, Nathan's next door neighbor."

A mental picture of a gray-haired elderly woman popped in his head. Of course, Esther Barnes was Mr. Jackson's 88 year-old neighbor. Nathan would take care of Esther's yard work whenever he was working on his own. Ezra had met her a time or two when he had picked up the medic for work.

"Yes, I remember. Is there something I can help you with?" Ezra questioned. He could hear shouts in the background followed by ambulance sirens, which caused his worry to increase ten-fold.

"There's been a fire at Nathan's house," Mrs. Barnes stated her voice quivering and there was a hiccup at the end as though she had been recently crying.

At this news Ezra felt fear grip him as the worst case scenarios ran through his mind each one worse then the next. Jumping up he put the phone on speaker phone, shucked his pajamas and quickly got dressed while asking questions. "Is Mr. Jackson alright?"

"He managed to get out…but they are taking him to Mercy General. I asked if he wanted me to call anyone and he gave me your number," Esther tearfully voiced.

Once he had ascertained that Mrs. Barnes was okay although shaken up and that Nathan's house was the only one affected, Ezra hung up the phone and left the condo. Sprinting through the parking lot, he hopped into his Jag and sped off. He tried to stay positive, telling himself that if Nathan had been able to talk then he was probably alright but he couldn't quite convince himself. He would need to see his friend for himself.

**-M7-**

Pacing back and forth in front of the reception desk at Mercy's emergency room, Ezra tried to reassure himself that Nathan would be fine. The nurse had told him he would be notified when the doctor had finished examining Mr. Jackson. His mind bounced from one thought to another never ending up in a good place. Nathan was his co-worker but he was also his friend. When the team all hung out together he and Nathan would inevitably end up sitting next to each other they just seemed to gravitate towards one another. Ezra at times wondered at it because it had been a rocky start to the beginning of their friendship, but they had persevered and now they would lay down their lives for each other. He glanced at the nurse at the front desk hoping for news but when the brunette looked up she simply shook her head.

Running his hand through his hair in frustration, Ezra abruptly sat down and picking up a golf magazine which appeared to be three years old and tried in vain read it. He usually liked reading articles on many different topics; sometimes an odd bit of trivia could come in handy when he was undercover. Like the time when he was able to convince an art dealer he was forger of the first water by knowing the difference between a painting by Salvador Dali and one by the world renowned art forger Tony Tetro. But every time the door to the inner recesses of the hospital opened he would tense up and look up in expectation.

Finally he heard, "Mr. Standish you can go back now."

Following the nurse, Ezra felt his anxiety come back to the forefront, afraid of what he would find. The room was large with beds lined up along each side; most had the curtain pulled around them to offer at least the appearance of privacy. She led him to the last bed in the back of the room. Rounding the curtain, Ezra finally saw his friend. It was odd to see the medic lying on the hospital bed, usually their positions were reversed.

Nathan looked awful. Ezra first noticed the cut above his friend's left eye that had been stitched up and covered with medical tape. Nathan's face was streaked with soot, his eyes were closed with an oxygen mask over his nose and mouth, and his clothes were blackened and stained. Ezra watched his friend grimace as though in pain, and worried as to what injuries may have occurred. Placing his hand lightly on his friend's wrist to alert Nathan to his presence, Ezra felt relief wash through him as Nathan opened his eyes and gave the agent a slight smile.

Squinting his eyes against the overhead neon lights, it took Nathan a moment to recognize Ezra standing next to his bed, but when he did he gave his friend a smile. Nathan's head felt like it was going to explode; he had had migraines before but this one was in at least the top five of all time.

So he closed his eyes again and croaked out, "Hey Ez." He had planned on saying more but his throat felt raw and inflamed.

Ezra winced in sympathy at the painful sound of his friend's voice. Squeezing Nathan's wrist slightly he said, "I would ask how you are faring but from the sound of your voice, I will abstain until a doctor can be found."

As though summoned a doctor rounded the corner of the curtain, a tall woman wearing the standard blue scrubs of E.R. docs everywhere Ezra read her name tag and saw her name was Dr. Sandra Ramirez.

After the introductions were performed, Dr. Ramirez asked, "Is it okay to speak in front of your friend?" Although she could see the two men were close she had to ask due to patient confidentiality.

Seeing her patient nod yes, she continued, "Well Mr. Jackson due to smoke inhalation you have some irritation of the mouth, nose, and lungs. I will give you an inhaler to use for the next couple of days. The stitches above your eye will need to come out in about ten days." Seeing her patient briefly close his eyes as through in pain she added, "For the contusions and pain, I am going to prescribe extra strength ibuprofen to be taken as needed."

Taking in the haggard appearance of Mr. Jackson, Sandra couldn't help but have misgivings about discharging her patient. So she asked again, "Are you sure you don't want to stay?"

She watched as a stubborn expression settled on Mr. Jackson's face and heard him croak out an emphatic, "I'm sure."

Capitulating with a caring smile, Sandra continued, "I am going to insist that you stay on the oxygen for at least another hour."

Knowing about the fire Dr. Ramirez asked as delicately as possible, "I would like someone to watch over you for the next couple of days, just to be on the safe side, would that be possible?"

Nathan had heard the question but he hesitated because although he knew the doctor was correct he was overwhelmed with the night's events and honestly had no idea. The usually unflappable man was feeling confused and adrift.

Ezra was taking mental notes of the doctor's aftercare instructions when she mentioned that Nathan would need looking after. He waited for Mr. Jackson to speak but seeing his friend looking so lost he spoke up, "Have no concerns in that regard Dr. Ramirez. Nathan shall be well looked after."

Hearing the sincerity in Mr. Standish's words the Doctor felt a small smidgen of relief that Mr. Jackson wouldn't be alone. "Very good. Make sure he takes his medicine and rests for the next few days. And like I said; one more hour on the oxygen and then you can leave. I will prepare the prescriptions and the nurse will bring them along with your release paperwork."

After the doctor left Nathan lay there and tried not to think about the fire. _What caused it? How bad was it? Was there anything left? _

Looking over at the clock, Nathan saw he still had at least forty-five minutes until he could leave. Allowing his eyes to wander he saw that Ezra looked uncomfortable as he fidgeted with the buttons on his jacket; Nathan knew hospitals weren't Ezra's favorite place, so he was very thankful that his friend was here with him. Nathan might go a bit crazy if he was here alone with his thoughts.

Ezra could almost see the worries flying through the air above his friend's head, and he wasn't surprised Nathan's whole life had changed. Ezra thought a distraction was in order, "Did I ever tell you about the time I had to go undercover as a pet groomer?" Seeing his friend shake his head slightly, he continued keeping his tone light as he wove a story of his valiant attempt to not only expose an arms dealer but also tame the coiffures of the various pom-poms and poodles that came through the pet shop door.

Closing his eyes, Nathan blocked out all his anxious thoughts and instead focused on the warmth of the hand that continued to rest lightly on his wrist and words that flowed gently over him.

**-M7-**

After that, time passed relatively quickly and soon Ezra was driving Nathan towards his condo. Ezra listened as Nathan in a very gravelly voice told of his harrowing escape from the inferno that was his home. It frightened him how close his friend came to never making it out.

It was now around five in the morning, the sun just peeking over the horizon. Ezra knew he needed to call Chris and update their boss on Nathan's situation and why they wouldn't be in today. Luckily they were not working on any active cases as of right now, only following some up on some leads that a previous case had yielded.

"I want to see what's left of my house," Nathan said quietly breaking the silence that had stretched between after he had finished his brief account of his escape.

Ezra had hoped to spare Nathan for awhile longer, but he understood the need to know exactly how bad it was. So instead of turning off at the next exit he continued on for a few more miles until he saw the turnoff for the road that would lead them to Nathan's subdivision.

As they turned down the street they saw one fire truck still out in front of the street, which Nathan knew was standard procedure in order to make sure all the hot spots were out. His brain supplied this information in a dispassionate voice. In truth even as Ezra pulled the car over and they got out and walked towards what was left of his home, he felt he was having an out-of-body experience. As Nathan stood there and looked at the spot where his house had once stood, he just kept thinking, _this has to be happening to someone else_.

There was nothing left.

Oh there were partial walls still standing, but even those were charred and falling over. Everything else was gone. Standing there, he couldn't believe that a mere eight hours before he had lain down on the couch to watch the news before going to bed. A mere eight hours before he'd had a home, filled with memories and mementos of his life and now it was all gone, including his most cherished possessions. He closed his eyes briefly as he thought of the photo album left to him by his parents after they died. There were generations of Nathan's ancestors documented in them, his mom had made meticulous notes because she believed it was important to know where you came from, but that too was gone. So he just stood there and tried to let it sink in, but it felt like everything was going in slow motion, even the various sounds around him felt muffled.

Ezra stood a few feet away trying to give Nathan some space to come to grips with his loss. They had been standing there for about twenty minutes when he noticed his friend was shivering. It was no wonder Nathan was severely underdressed, he only wore a set of scrubs the hospital gave him. Walking up he lightly placed his hand on Nathan's shoulder, and said, "Nathan, we should go."

When he got no response he turned his friend away from the house. Seeing the shine to Nathan's eyes and the lack of response, Ezra realized he was in shock. It was no wonder, considering all he had gone through, emotionally as well as physically. Guiding his friend back to the car and after buckling him in, he started the car and headed towards his home. Nathan said nothing; he just leaned his head against the car window and closed his eyes.

**-M7-**

Unlocking the front door, Ezra ushered Nathan inside and opened the curtains to allow the early morning light into the room. Nathan had been here many times before so he was familiar with the layout, but he wasn't sure what to do with himself so he stood just inside the living room uncertain of what to do next.

Seeing his normally confident friend looking so unsure shook Ezra a little bit. Nathan was the one they went to when something was wrong, when they needed something, but now he was the one in need. Straightening his shoulders, Ezra was determined to do everything he could to help his friend.

"Nathan would you like to lay down for awhile?" Ezra asked tentatively.

Nathan almost jumped at the sound, but quickly tried to pull himself together enough to form an answer. He was feeling very worn down but he couldn't imagine going to bed smelling of smoke. "Actually could I take a shower?"

"Of course," It was at that moment it suddenly stuck Ezra that his friend had truly lost everything. Even the clothes he was currently wearing were borrowed. "I believe I have some oversized sweats that might fit you."

Once he had procured the clothing in question and Nathan had gone to take the shower, Ezra got busy freshening up the spare bedroom. He had been putting off calling Chris but now that Nathan was in the shower he made the dreaded phone call.

Chris, as expected, was already at the office. After telling their boss about the fire and assuring him that Mr. Jackson was physically okay, he asked Chris to tell the others what had occurred. He also asked Larabee to make some phone calls to hold off the others from calling or coming over at least for a few hours. He knew they would descend on the condo in a whirlwind of helpfulness. Which was great, and Nathan would need every bit of that help but right now what Nathan needed most was to rest for awhile.

Hearing the shower turn off, Ezra finished the phone call, hurried to the kitchen and quickly made his friend a sandwich. The man must be hungry even if he was unaware of it. He placed the sandwich on the dining room table and waited.

It wasn't long before Nathan found him. Ezra was glad to see that although the sweats were a bit small, they seemed to fit alright. Nathan looked like he was going to protest but in the end he silently sat down and started eating. He ended up eating about half and Ezra figured that would be good enough for now. "How about that rest we talked about?"

"Ezra, I don't think I could sleep right now. When there is so much to think about, so much to do," But even as he spoke the words Nathan felt a wave of exhaustion roll over him.

"Maybe you could lay down for awhile, at least," Ezra coaxed softly.

Nathan felt exhausted and yet numb at the same time, and all the aches and pains that he had gotten from his mad dash through a burning house were starting to make themselves known. He had no fight left in him, so he conceded, "Yeah maybe for a little while."

Ezra followed Nathan into the room and pulled out some blankets from the closet. He was turning to go when his friend's voice stopped him.

Lying down Nathan stared straight up at the ceiling and ran one hand over his head. "I need to call Larabee and let him know what happened and that I won't be in. I need to find out what the fire marshal thinks started the fire and then I need to call my insurance company and see what my policy covers. But even in the best of scenarios it will be awhile before I see any money. I have some savings but I put a lot of what I did have into remodeling the house. And where am I to live in the meantime? I'll need to rent an apartment or something. Don't get me wrong. I am so thankful to be alive. I truly am but there is just so much…" His voice trailed off as he thought of the myriad of things he needed to buy and to do just to get through the next couple of weeks, never mind the next couple of months.

Ezra stood by the bed and watched Nathan fret and worry. Not that Ezra blamed him, there was a lot to do, but right now what his friend needed most was to relax. He couldn't fix everything but there were one or two worries he could lay to rest.

"I have already called Mr. Larabee and informed him as to what has occurred and that we will not be in today. He will be in touch in a couple of hours. Also I think you should stay here for as long as you need to."

Already seeing Nathan start to protest he held up his hand, "You are a good friend and I have plenty of room. So it really would be no hardship on my part, we already ride into work together, it makes sense. Just think about it."

Nathan thought about outright saying no, not wanting to be a burden to his friend he knew Ezra valued his privacy, but seeing the determined expression on Ezra's face he also knew it would be futile. When Ezra put his mind to something he usually got his way, Nathan had seen it time and again. "Thank you. That's very kind of you. I think I will stay…at least for a little while."

Ezra was pleasantly surprised at having got his way so easily, but he wasn't going to look a gift horse in the mouth. As he turned to go his friend spoke again.

"You never finished your story about the pet grooming," Nathan nervously stuttered out, as he felt embarrassed but he needed Ezra to stay and keep him company. He didn't want to be alone right now.

Ezra felt his heart hurt just a little bit at how vulnerable his friend sounded, like he was unsure of Ezra's answer.

Smiling widely to show it was no problem, he said, "I believe you are quite right."

Pulling up a chair next to the bed and sitting down as Nathan sought to get more comfortable, Ezra continued, "Now where was I…Oh yes. I was close to securing the information I needed when one of the Pomeranians that I was supposed to groom escaped from the shop and lead me on a rather spectacular chase…."

Nathan smiled softly at the rather tall tale his friend was spinning for his benefit. There were a lot of unknowns still buzzing around his head but he ignored them for now.

Ezra watched as Nathan fought against going to sleep. He embellished the tale as he stretched it out to rather a lengthy story watching as Nathan's eyes grew heavy with exhaustion until he finally succumbed. Ezra continued to speak in low easy tones for awhile to make sure Nathan was truly out. When he heard a slight snore coming from his friend, he stopped and sat back resting his head against the wall.

Seeing Nathan's chest rise up slowly as he breathed in and out Ezra felt a hard knot that had taken up residence in his chest relax for the first time since he received that early morning phone call.

His friend was going to be okay.

Yes, there was a long road ahead for Nathan but Ezra and the others would be there for him. Closing his eyes, Ezra also knew the other five members of their eclectic family would be over in a couple of hours and so a bit of shuteye sounded just about right. Ezra relaxed a bit further into the chair and soon he too was asleep.

**The End**


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